How to Stop Time

Synopsis: Tom Hazard looks like your average 40-something year old guy, but actually has a rare condition that causes him to age much slower than normal humans. He is, in fact, about 400 years old, and expects to live hundreds of years more. He teaches history to high school students in London and spends most of his time moping around about his loneliness, and reminiscing about his early life. There are others with his affliction, with a secret society that supposedly helps them to navigate the challenges of longevity. Will Tom be able to find true love again?

Review: Oh my. This is not a time travel novel, but certainly is a time SPANNING novel, as Tom lives through the witch trials in England, working for Shakespeare at the Globe Theater, sailing with Captain Cook, having a shoot out in the American West, among other events. That sounds interesting, right? Except that’s kind of the whole thing. There really isn’t much of a story beyond Tom wallowing in self pity about how hard it is to live longer than your peers. The general theme is that everything changes with time, but nothing REALLY changes with time. Said over and over again in different ways. This book definitely reminded me a lot of the previous Matt Haig book I read, The Midnight Library. This author seems to specialize in depressed, whiny, self absorbed protagonists who can’t learn from experience. This also has a similar riff on living multiple different lives in an effort to find your one true destiny. Maybe Tom could find happiness with Nora? For me, this was just OK. I didn’t love it, but I didn’t hate it either. Just meh.

Rating: 3/5

Recipe: Tom can’t seem to get past the idea of the hardships caused by his slow, slow aging. I get it, longer isn’t necessarily better. But, when it comes to pulled pork, or cooking a pork shoulder, longer is definitely better, and I always use a slow cooker for that. This recipe calls for cooking the pork 14 to 16 hours! That is not a typo. This uses Italian seasonings, but you could easily use BBQ spices, a middle Eastern blend or whatever you like.

Ingredients:

5-7 pound Boston butt

4 cloves garlic cut into slivers

1 tablespoon salt

1 tablespoon Italian herb blend

2 teaspoons ground pepper

1 teaspoon ground fennel seeds

1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes

1) Pat the pork dry, cut small slits in it with a sharp knife and insert the garlic in the slits

2) Combine the remaining ingredients, then rub the dry spice blend all over the pork, working it into the nooks and crannies

3) Put in slow cooker, cook on low for 14 to 16 hours.

4) Half way through cooking, pour off the accumulated liquid, you can use it later for a sauce if you want.

5) When done, shred with two forks, mixing the outside crusty bits with the tender meat.