In Sickness: A Memoir

Synopsis: Imagine knowing that your wife has breast cancer, but doesn’t want to seek care for it. Then imagine that she requests/demands you remain silent about it. You never talk about it, until four years later when she suffers a nearly fatal pulmonary embolism and the fungating tumor growing on her chest can no longer remain hidden. NOW imagine that you are both cancer specialists employed at the Dana Farber Cancer Institute. This bizarre scenario is the background for Dr. Barrett Rollins’ memoir about his marriage, his wife’s illness, and their last year together before her death.

Review: Wow wow wow. This was a crazy ride! Jane Weeks was talented, charismatic, and famous, at least in the world of oncology. She made a career out of research into healthcare outcomes, some of this being directly related to the value of cancer screening tests like mammograms. Yet, she never, ever went to the doctor—or dentist! Ew. Dr. Rollins is basically inviting us to be armchair psychiatrists in this raw, revealing memoir. How on earth did she let this happen? How on earth did HE let this happen? It’s just next level crazy! Based on Dr. Rollin’s description of her, she was a manipulative narcissist, while he himself was a pathologic enabler. She was apparently admired and well regarded, but I couldn’t care for her. I mean, she wasn’t nice to her own mother, and placed many roadblocks in the way of Dr. Rollins relationship with his daughter from his first marriage. Not a flattering portrait! But in his defense, he presents himself as an equally unlikeable doormat. In fairness, I realize that I am part of a very small unique audience for this sad tale. As a medical oncologist who regularly refers to the Farber, I literally could not put this down. It was a well written, compulsively readable story which I cannot stop thinking about.

Rating: 4/5

Recipe: Stouffer’s macaroni and cheese was described as being a regular request in Jane’s last months. This recipe by Eric Kim is an homage to Stouffer’s. It isn’t my favorite macaroni and cheese recipe, but it certainly mimics Stouffer’s quite well.

Ingredients:

1 lb cavatappi

1/2 cup unsalted butter

1/2 cup all purpose flour

6 cups whole milk

1 pound sharp or extra sharp yellow cheddar cheese, coarsely grated

8 ounces Velvet, torn in pieces

4 ounces Pecorino romano, coarsely grated (1 cup)

1/2 teaspoon dry mustaard

1/4 teaspoon onion powder

pinch of cayenne

freshly ground black pepper

1) Heat oven to 350 degrees

2) Cook pasta until al dente and set aside.

3) Melt butter in the same pot, add flour and cook, whisking until smooth, about 1 minute.

4) Whisk in the milk and bring to a simmer, cook until slightly thickened. Take off the heat.

5) Add the cheeses and spices, season generously with salt and pepper and whisk until melted and smooth (it will look like nacho cheese sauce). Add the drained pasta and stir until evenly coated.

6) Transfer to a 9 x 13 inch pan and bake until bubbling, about 15-20 minutes.