Crying in H Mart

Synopsis: Michelle Zauner is a musician, now best selling memoirist, who shares her story of grief. Zauner was born in Seoul, the daughter of Chomngmi, a native of the city, and Joel, a white American. When she was a year old, the family relocated to Eugene, Oregon where her mother invested her energy in the pursuit of perfection in all things, ESPECIALLY her only child. Though the mother-daughter relationship was somewhat fraught, Michelle moves back home at the age of 25 to help care for her mother after a diagnosis of advanced stomach cancer. Stories of Korean food serve as the backbone of the book, as Zauner explores the connections between food and identity.

Review: I love a good memoir, but upon realizing this is a story of loss, grief, and her mother’s death from cancer? I had a moment where I wondered if this was for me! Happily it worked out well, because the book is amazing, and in spite of sadness, I loved it. Zauner’s descriptions of her youth in Oregon were entertaining and relatable. She loves her parents, but also struggles with rebellion. Developing an adventurous palate is a way to gain her mother’s approval during their summer visits to Seoul. She returns home after her mother’s diagnosis to help care for her, ready to bolster her recovery with Korean cooking, then realizes she doesn’t really know how to prepare the things her mother loves. As a teen, she effaced the Korean side of her heritage as a normal adolescent effort to “fit in.” Korean food, and it’s preparation, is her way to honor and remember her mother, and she dives into the task. However, as much as this memoir is about food, it’s primarily a love letter to her mother. This moving book covers the obvious story of loss and grief, but also the magic and comfort of home, and culture as a source of strength.

Rating: 4/5

Recipe: Given the prominent role of food in this memoir, there are no shortage of possibilities for recipe pairings. Zauner attempts to hone her skills in the kitchen by watching YouTube videos of Maangchi, kind of a Korean Julia Child. I haven’t gotten around to watching those, but it seems appropriate that any recipe used here should use kimchi. I loved Zauner’s description of how fermenting cabbage to make kimchi allows it to have a completely “new life.” Plus, I love kimchi. This recipe from NYT writer Eric Kim can easily be cut in half to serve 2-3.

SHEET PAN FRIED RICE WITH KIMCHI

Ingredients:

2 cups uncooked medium grain white rice

1/4 cup toasted sesame oil

1/4 cup gochujang

1/4 cup kimchi juice plus 2 cups coarsely chopped kimchi

3 tablespoons soy sauce

2 teaspoons granulated sugar

salt

1 large onion cut in medium dice

3 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into small pieces

20 grams gym (roosted seaweed), crushed

6 large eggs

1) Cook rice

2) Heat oven to 425 degrees

3) in a large bowl, which together sesame oil, gochujang, kimchi juice, say sauce and sugar. Season with salt and stir in kimchi and onion. Add the cooked rice, the butter and seaweed, and stir to combine.

4) Transfer mixture to a large rimmed baking sheet and spread out loosely. Bake until the top of the rice is crispy and chewy, 25-30 minutes.

5) Remove the pan from the oven. Using a spoon to make shallow depressions for the eggs. Crack the eggs into the depression and place the pan back in the oven for 3-6 minutes until egg whites have set, but the yolk remains runny.